Thursday, October 29, 2009

Dejah Thoris Calling for John Carter

Eugene Volokh reports on a Canadian suit in which the plaintiff, a Rene Joly, alleges that he is a Martian and that others, including those sinister Americans, are conspiring to prevent him from proving it. The judge, however, explores the relevant law and finds that, to have standing in his court, one must be either a corporation or a human being. Since a Martian is neither, the plaintiff gets poured out. Who says there's no justice in the trial courts?

Joly alleges that he is from Mars,
And blames us Americans for psychic scars,
But the ruling says Martians will always lack standing.
Beware all you aliens, you better start banding
And working together so you still can sue
And keep on enjoying an earthly mileu.

Martian equality is now our new cry.
Rouse up your brothers; you must not be shy.
Illegal aliens are common, I know,
But here’s a new twist, you’ll see that it’s so.
Go look in the mirror to pose and to preen,
For unlike most aliens, like Kermit, you’re green.

To reply, email texthepontificator at yahoo dot com.

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