Thursday, July 29, 2004

Ditty for Teresa

I had heard of the "shove it" brouhaha, but I was slow to read of the background. Apparently, in her speech at the convention, Teresa Heinz Kerry observed, "We need to turn back some of the creeping, un-Pennsylvanian and sometimes un-American traits that are coming into some of our politics." A reporter asked her for specifics on what was unAmerican. She denied using the term and, when he pressed her, she told him to "shove it."

With apologies to David Allan Coe, that has earned Teresa the following ditty:
Get you gone and shove it; I ain’t answering you no more.
You asked me questions I don’t like, and that just makes me sore.
I’m rich and I don’t have to take your guff like I might if I was poor.
So hit the road and shove it, I ain’t answering you no more.

To reply, email texthepontificator at yahoo.com.

(doggerel)

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Monday, July 26, 2004

Stuffing Papers Down Your Pants X

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Stuffing Papers Down Your Pants IX

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Thursday, July 22, 2004

Stuffing Papers Down Your Pants VIII

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Stuffing Papers Down Your Pants VII

Instapundit has a good roundup of the latest on Sandy Burger, the master of inadvertence.

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Wednesday, July 21, 2004

Stuffing Papers Down Your Pants VI

Instapundit gives detail on Berger's conduct, which makes it impossible to give any credence to the inadvertence "defense," to the extent it is a defense.  He also reprints the following reader email and makes a comment:
I work with classified documents and while it is true that violations of procedure are not uncommon, it is extremely rare, at least in my corner of the world, to see something like this. I can't even take a briefcase into the unclassified reading room at the National Archives, yet Berger is stuffing classified documents into a leather bag?! I know that the Clinton people were famous (infamous?) for lax document security, but I have trouble imagining that a former NSA can be this incompetent. Samuel L. Morison spent over a year in Federal prison for sending classified satellite photos of a Soviet carrier under construction to Jane's Defense Weekly and I don't see how what he did is any worse that what Berger has done.

I've gotten a lot of emails along these lines from federal employees who work with classified documents. It would be interesting to see a news story interviewing some people like that, and looking at what happens to worker-bee types who violate security this way.

Indeed. It would be interesting. But what mainstream news organization would do that? Probably none.

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Tuesday, July 20, 2004

Stuffing Papers Down Your Pants V

Hugh Hewitt gives us a name for the scandal, and a refreshing break from the "gates":

"Bergercling, Home of the Whoppers."
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Stuffing Papers Down Your Pants IV

Hugh Hewitt observes:

Second, keep applying the Condi Rice test. If Dr. Rice had been caught stuffing her blouse with highly classified handwritten notes from the days after 9/11, what would be going on in D.C. right now? Do you think The Today Show could have found someone to criticize Rice on air?

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Stuffing Papers Down Your Pants III

When your briefcase is quite full,
And your pockets start to pull,
Have you ever stuffed papers in your pants?

When your arms are heavy laden,
And your backpack’s lost in Aden,
Have you ever stuffed papers in your pants?

When the stacks are piled high,
All the way up to the sky,
Have you ever stuffed papers in your pants?

When you’ve oh so much to carry,
And have not time to tarry,
Have you ever stuffed papers in your pants?

What pray tell’s the chance,
That when out the door you prance,
You will ever stuff papers in your pants?

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(doggerel)

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Stuffing Papers Down Your Pants II

Sandy Berger went to town
To steal some secret papers.
He stuffed them all in his pants,
And called it a great caper.

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(doggerel)

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Stuffing Papers Down Your Pants

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