Saturday, October 23, 2004

Johnny Went a Huntin'


The Washington Times reports on Kerry's efforts to convince us he's really a regular guy after all:
Mr. Kerry's Ohio hunting adventure started last Saturday, when the senator, campaign entourage in tow, went into a grocery store and asked the owner: "Can I get me a hunting license here?" Even the phraseology sounded staged. Mr. Kerry ordinarily doesn't talk this way, and his language sounded fake and patronizing — as if he was pretending to talk like someone from rural Ohio.

When Mr. Kerry went hunting on Thursday in Boardman, Ohio, the event was tightly choreographed. Even as Mr. Kerry allowed himself to be photographed wearing a camouflage jacket, he was "also careful not to scare off supporters who might be a little squeamish about seeing their candidate smeared with the fresh blood of a fowl whose only crime was to try landing in the wrong cornfield," Charles Hurt of The Washington Times reported.

Mr. Kerry and his handlers wanted to come away with sanitized pictures they think will play well with focus groups. After two hours of hunting, photographers with long photo lenses noticed that Mr. Kerry's hand was bloodied. By the time he reached the reporters, he had tucked that hand into his sleeve. Unlike the other hunters, all of them carrying their geese, Mr. Kerry was careful not to be photographed holding the bird he shot. He's triangulating — trying to do whatever he can to to persuade hunters he's their buddy, without completely alienating animal-rights backers on the political left who might be inclined to support him.
I had noticed that, although he claimed to have shot a goose, he wasn't carrying one. What kind of guy expects his companion to carry his kill? A patrician "guy," that's who. On the bird hunts in which I have participated, if you shoot the bird, you carry it--and clean it. Do you suppose Kerry gutted his own bird? The question answers itself.

Doggerel time:
Kerry went a huntin' for a goose, uh huh.
Kerry went a huntin' for a goose, uh huh.
Kerry went a huntin' for a goose,
But tried to stay out of the noose, uh huh.

His reg'lar voters wouldn't like none of that, nuh uh
His reg'lar voters wouldn't like none of that, nuh uh
His reg'lar voters wouldn't like none of that,
But he had to give the rednecks a pat, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh.
Postscript: Hugh Hewitt asks how Kerry could have asked a goose to be the last goose to die for a photo op?

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Thursday, October 07, 2004

The Reason to Defer to the Judgment of France?

Why, so as not to upset their complex system of graft. Instapundit sets out the goods. This calls for doggerel:
There once was a man named Chirac,
Who, against war, stood firm as a rock,
But his stand we ascribe
To a humongous bribe.
His scruples are simply a crock.
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